How do you build relationships?
Some of these ideas we learned in elementary school but, as adults, we sometimes forget.
- Build relationships one at a time. Sending out a newsletter or web-blast helps you keep in touch with lots of folks, but it's no substitute for getting to know a real person.
- Be friendly and make a connection; a friendly word or smile can make someone's day. Try to find something in common: all of us desire to connect with others.
- Ask people questions. People love to talk about themselves and feel as though their feelings are validated.
- Tell people about yourself. People won't trust you unless you are willing to trust them. Tell them what you genuinely care about and what you think.
- Go places and do things. Get out to those places where your stakeholders are and engage them.
- Accept people the way they are. You don't have to agree with them all the time in order to form a relationship with them. No one likes to be judged.
- Assume other people want to form relationships. Underneath the crabbiest looking person is often a lonely soul hoping someone will make a crack in their shell.
- Overcome your fear of rejection. Most of us suffer from a fear of rejection, and there's only one thing to do about that: get over it. If you want to form relationships, plan on being rejected some of the time.
- Be persistent. People are often shy and suspicious. It takes a while to win trust. You can almost always form a relationship if you stick with it.
- Invite people to get involved. People want to become part of something bigger than themselves. Many people are looking for an opportunity to meet other people who share common goals. At the worst, people will be flattered that you invited them to join.
- Enjoy people. If you genuinely enjoy people, others will be attracted to your attitude. People will more likely want to be around you.
How do you sustain relationships?
You must pay attention to people and check in with people when you need to. This may take only a few minutes a week, but those few minutes can make the difference in helping your friend or colleague remember the importance of the work you are doing together. Communicate openly with those who you have established relationships. Set aside some time just to talk about how things are going. When people don't have a chance to talk about important issues, misunderstandings can occur. You must always remember to appreciate the people with whom you have established relationships. It’s not only crucial that you appreciate them but that you show them they are appreciated. If someone did a great job on a project, tell them. If someone is celebrating something, let them know that you share in their joy. Appreciation helps us all thrive and want to do more. Try to over-extend yourself every once in a while; go out of your way every so often to show people your relationship with them is important. You must also be a “team player”. Volunteer to assist to people in their positions so they know you value them. If you lend them a hand, they are likely to think well of you and give something back in return. You should also continually challenge your colleagues to take on bigger challenges; the best way to do this is to lead by example and continually challenge yourself. Lastly, foster loyalty. Loyalty is essential to keeping relationships healthy. We may find ourselves in situations where we disagree with a colleague or friend, but we can certainly stand by them as a support through it.
